1) Homer: I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?
2) Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No…he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we’d get the chair.
Marge: That’s not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
3) Smithers: They’re fighting like Iran and Iraq! Mr. Burns: What? Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia
4)Maude Flanders: Excuse me Edna, I don’t think were talking about love here. We’re talking about S-E-X. In front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty: Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down.
5) Superintendant Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.
6) “Look, Super Nintendo Chalmers, I’m learnding!” ~Ralph
7) Grandpa Simpson: “I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was”
8) Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Postal Worker: OK Mr. Burns, uh, what’s your first name? Homer: …I don’t know.
9) To alcohol- the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems! -Homer
10) Kang: Abortions for all. [crowd boos] Kang: Very well, no abortions for anyone. [crowd boos] Kang: Hmm… Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
Bonus: Homer: YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I’M WEARING A TOWEL
source thread : http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/m67wv/what_is_your_favorite_simpsons_quote/